Mothers, Foundations and a Tool Box

If foundations are the strength of a house than I contend Mothers are the foundation of a child. My Mother was and remains the foundation of my strength. I still know what she would advise if I listen to my heart because she created that security within me. I must say I hate Mother's Day...It became I don't have a Mother here on earth and it does seem like people with Mothers are smearing it in my face that they do. (I have lovely friends I emphasis they are not)

The pain I feel when one of my friends joins the I Dont Have a Mother Club is deep. I know that their feelings are similar to mine and I know that although the wretching pain ends the longing to see your Mother again and be her child never end. Having a Mother to lead is like a security blanket and when I lost my Mother I came to the sharp relazation that I would not be Mothered ever again in my life.

I love being a Mother it was my lifes dream. After trying to explain to my son's about how I felt about empty nesting and realizing they could not comprehend my feelings even though they were compassionate about it (well for young men). So my Marine asks me Mom what did you want to be or do before you had children. I think its hard for alot of people to understand that my lifes desire was to be Nicholas and Steve's Mother. Nothing else no desire to travel, have jewels, write a great novel I love being their Mother and Eric's wife thats game all for me. So my Marine consoles me with Mom you have excelled at your dream. Now find a new one! Geesh...

Now my second child Steven... he was the child that was to leave my nest empty and I must say the more he asked me to help him with college applications the more I talked about the one he could commute to. Finally my sweet loving child looked me squarely in the eye and said Mom I know Nic has left to be a Marine and its hard but am going away to college are you going to help me or not? Wow I was sabitaging his efforts to go to a small private college. You will be happy he got into the college of his dreams althought I must admit while not praying against it I did not pray for it. He has had an exceptional first year and I have survived.

This is where the true man in my life kicked it. Facing a wife who finally collased under the weight of her Mother dying a decade or so prior, a son who after college headed of to be the badest ass Marine he could be..all infantry...all high speed..all the time and her baby who was her solid pleaser child who was mature and loving and a friend packed his bags to go Eric kicked in his role in high gear. He quickly showed me how wonderful a life we still had with each other and even the joys of the kids being out of the nest. He allowed me to regain the foundation my Mother provided.


The problem with providing son's with very strong foundations is they are not afraid to build on them and move in. The joy of it is my sons are independant and self reliant and they have the faith that I helped build in them that they can succeed. My husband build in them the want to fight and protect and kick some literal ass in Policing and Serving Country.

So when I felt like my Mom left me in limbo with a strong foundation but no Mother to lean on I realized she left me a tool box in which to pull from each time a new situation arises. She left me with answers to questions that have not been asked yet. She left me standing with children who looked to me to be ready with the toolbox. The cycle continues...

Marilyn Rae Hughes Sorensen love flows freely from here to Heaven.